May 12, 2019

The art of being happily single

Being single is the ultimate life skill to learn. It’s fair to say, after being single for nearly 4 years I have mastered the art of being happily single.

‘Happy Valentine’s Day’ says to me (a very good looking) diving instructor who’s picking me up from my hotel at 9 am in the morning. It’s +25 and sunny, we’re driving to a little secluded beach in the north Tenerife for snorkeling and free diving.

‘Happy Valentine’s day to me indeed’ I thought.

‘How lucky I am to be here, being able to do all of these. I am so in love with being single as I can enjoy my life on my terms.’

The drive was nearly an hour, so I started writing down a list of things I love about being single trying to analyze why I’m so happily single – while constantly getting distracted and chatting to this diving instructor. Did I mention he was good looking? 😊

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I’ve had such a great morning snorkeling in the ocean with @xwanderadventures 🌊 Tbh I didn’t think I’d enjoy it as much as I did. I’m a pretty good swimmer but snorkeling has never been my thing. It’s been almost 3 years now since I’ve last tried it. The last time I did it in the middle of winter in Iceland. It was one of the best and worst experiences of my life. Snorkeling between 2 tectonic plates in a freezing water when its -15 outside? Yeah, why not! It was cool and ‘bearable’ until my hands and then my gums started bleeding when they tried to pull that drysuit off me. I have a dry skin – they said it happens to people with dry skin. So yeah, you can imagine I was slightly anxious while driving to beach this morning. ‘At least its not -15, its nice and sunny’ – I kept telling myself. But I’m so glad I did it… that I pushed myself out of my comfort zone. The moment I looked down into the water and it was so tranquil – beautiful corals all around and all those colourful fish floating so peacefully – while it was stormy af outside. I realised it was all in my head. Once I started controlling my thoughts, the anxiety was gone and I started enjoying it. I think it’s the same with almost everything in life. Once you let go of whatever that’s holding you back, things can only get better 😊 Focus on the right here, right now moment. You only get it once. #HappyValentinesDay 💕

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There is no best way to be single, no unwritten rule for how long you should be single, or any universal laws that say what you must do while you’re single. 

I’m not going to sell you some ‘guide to being single’.

I’m going to share my thoughts on being single instead:

Focus on your passions

If you are single, this time you have right now is an absolute gift. A gift of freedom to do whatever the hell you want to do, whatever makes you happy and sets your heart on fire.

It’s time to get to know the real you. Explore your mind. Follow your curiosities. Take that dance classes you’ve always wanted to take, start that side business that you can’t seem to let go of, go to that photography workshop.

Lose yourself in your passions and find your flow. I’m the happiest when I’m in ‘the flow’. I have quite a few things that get me in the flow – traveling and photography are on top of that list.

Watch this Ted talk on Flow, the secret to happiness

Don’t force feelings

Ever start dating someone, who’s so lovely and nice – but there’s something missing? You tell yourself ‘give it another chance’, you keep going on more dates ‘to try to figure it out’ until you get to that point where you are like ‘okay it’s not working’ and you call it quits.

I’ve had enough situations like these trust me. So, these days if I’m unsure about someone after the first date – it probably means no. No need to force it.

When you know, you know

You don’t just pick someone and cross your fingers it’ll work out. You meet them by fate. And when you meet them, it’s an instant attraction. It’s unicorns and stardust. The chemistry you share is way above your head. It’s natural to desire to be around them, to listen to anything and everything they are about to say – whether it’s about a tough day at work, or some crazy stupid idea – you don’t judge them. You notice the colour of their eyes, the way their lips curve when they smile. You feel so happy and lucky to be around them. When you know, you know.

So stay single, until you meet someone like this. Someone who is home and adventure; a soul that calms and drives you wild. At the very least, you should be with someone who really cares about getting to know you.

“Ten years from now, make sure you can say that you chose your life, you didn’t settle for it.”

I honestly cannot wait to feel that way about someone and to share all that life has to offer.

But right now, my friends and my family are my partners in crime. I have a great job that helps me grow and develop every day. I’ve turned my passions into my side projects. And most importantly, I’m enjoying life as it comes, day by day, by doing the things I love doing, with the people I love being with.

And I feel very content… without a guy.

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